Lyrics

[Spoken]
How come every time I order food at a restaurant I get all shy and apologetic and subservient?
Like any waiter or waitress has a total position of authority over me
Like what's my problem, I’m not worthy of ordering the meal?
I'm such an idiot, I'm such a loser
How come I can’t leave an outgoing message on my answering machine without listening back and recording it at least five times?
Trying to sound all casual and cool and lighthearted, unrehearsed
I'm such an idiot, I'm such a loser

[Verse 1]
Why am I so afraid
That everyone's gonna hate me?
(It's pathetic)
Do you hate me
For asking if you hate me?
Why am I so suspicious
Whenever someone likes me?
If you like me then I hate you
(You're pathetic)
Dude I know it
It's pathetic
(How pathetic)

[Verse 2]
If you have the kind of face
That no matter where you go
You look out of place
Then I love you
(That's pathetic)
If you’re the kind of person
Who can’t make up your mind
You must be kind
And I love you
(That's pathetic)
If getting dressed triggers in you
Total out of hand self-consciousness
Then I love you
(That’s pathetic)
If the simple act of tipping a barista
Fills you with self-loathing
Then I love you
(That's pathetic)
If you have trouble looking people in the eye
You're an alright guy
And I love you
(Pathetic!)
But if I love you
(You're pathetic)
Will you hate me?
(That’s pathetic)
Don't you think I know it?
(How pathetic)
Don't you think I hate it?
(You're pathetic)
Don't you, don't you, don't you think it makes me hate myself?

[Spoken]
Sorry guys, can you just do that end part again?

[Outro]
(Pathetic)
(Pathetic)
(Pathetic)
(Pathetic)
Don't you, don't you, don't you think it makes me hate myself?